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Cashing in on the Nazi leader’s brand name, authorities in Ukraine have decided to open up one of Hitler’s Eastern Front military headquarters and run it as a tourist attraction. Situated in a pine forest just north of Vinnytsia in central Ukraine, Führerhauptquartier Wehrwolf – and no, that’s not a spelling mistake but a portmanteau of werewolf and wehr, the German word for defence – was, in its heyday, a self-sufficient secret installation, replete with all of the modern amenities of the era. Of the 11,000 or so prisoners of war and local civilians who constructed the facilitates, over half died – either during the works or immediately after completion at the hands of firing squads.


Today, a nearby memorial pays homage to those labourers, but little, other than lumps of concrete and a swimming pool, which there’s no record of Hitler ever having used, remains of the Führerhauptquartier itself, the Nazis having destroyed what they could when they abandoned it, and the Soviets having completed the task by sealing off the underground bunker later. Mykola Djiga, who heads the provincial administration, has said that “it is time to make the Wehrwolf headquarters a tourist destination, a memorial to the victims of fascism”. Sounds good, but as a memorial already exists, is a museum – even one that’s to symbolically open on the anniversary of the Victory Day over Fascism (May the 9th) – also needed?

Alas, as anyone who’s done the rounds of former war sites and concentration camps knows, Nazis and the Holocaust sell – as the coach loads of frightful, generally ignorant and schadenfreude-enriched package tourists who visit such locations on sightseeing daytrips pay testament to. One can’t blame the Ukrainian authorities though, I suppose, as they have to top up their depleted coffers somehow. At least it’s not Chernobyl they’re planning to turn into a tourist attraction. Oh, hang on . . . .

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A show trial, which started last October in the Russian city of Gorno-Altaisk but failed to pick up momentum after the thirty plus testifiers for the prosecution spoke out in favour of the defendant – a 34 year old Jehovah’s Witness accused of promoting extremism – has resumed this week with sentencing due shortly.

Street sweeper Aleksandr Kalistratov, who says the allegations against him are “absurd” [which they are], could, if found guilty, be jailed for up to two years. After his house was raided by armed security officers, who confiscated his books, prosecutors charged him under Article 282(1) of the Russian Federation Criminal Code for inciting religious enmity and distributing literature covered by the rapidly growing Federal List of Extremist Materials, which currently runs to over 50 pages. As Geraldine Fagan, a Moscow based religious affairs analyst, put it:

“If the texts say that their faith is the best or the truest, then it is understood to be extremist.”

Whilst Mr Kalistratov awaits his sentence [and, I assume, the end of the world followed by the establishment of God’s kingdom on earth], authorities are continuing to misuse laws brought in to help combat terrorism by advocating their use to justify further arrests and harassment of those religious minorities that may be seen as a threat to the supremacy of the Russian Orthodox Church. Police have detained some 150 Jehovah’s Witnesses in recent months, and will assuredly be knocking at the door of scores more in the near future. No pun intended, of course . . . .

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No shit. If the head of the country’s association of lavatory manufacturers has his way it’ll be celebrated annually on April the 9th. Owing to the dreadful condition of the nation’s latrines [I’ve used worse, but hey-ho], and the gradual fall from grace of a country that a century ago could proudly boast possession of the world’s greatest W.C. facilities, Vladimir Moksunov has proposed commemorating and honouring our porcelain friends with their own special day.

And if loo patriots in other countries are feeling a little bit left out they’ll be pleased to hear that tomorrow, November the 19th, is the official World Toilet Day – “a global day of action to increase awareness for toilet users’ rights and to advocate a better toilet environment”. Righty-ho . . . .

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According to a report by the (self-styled) Chechen news agency Kavkaz Center, police in the south-western Russian city of Voronezh have requested local Islamic leaders provide details of practicing Muslims in the region, including where they pray and from whom they receive their funding. [I know what you’re thinking: is Voronezh not the place that shot to global fame in 1989 following a string of UFO sightings, which culminated in a 9ft tall, three-eyed alien making contact with children? Well, I’m pleased to confirm that, yes, it is indeed said city.]

Anyway, a spokesman for the Local Muslims Religious Organisation, which received the demand from the city’s sixth police directorate last month together with two follow-up visits after they refused to comply, informed Ria Novosti that as per “paragraphs 5, 6, 7 of Article 3 of the Federal Law on Freedom of Conscience and of Religious Associations . . . no one is obliged to disclose their relation to religion, their belief or refusal to believe in a religion, their participation or non-participation in religious services, religious orders or ceremonies, in particular religious organizations for the study of religion”. Why he believes the country’s laws will make the slightest bit of difference to the police, though, I’ve no idea.

Whilst there’s little chance of authorities ever admitting to the motives behind such inquiries, which, considering similar requests in the city of Tambov, are more than likely just part of a wider campaign aimed at Muslims, the public will no doubt be fully supportive of the move. After all, “every second Russian is a skinhead at heart”. Apparently . . . .

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No, not a rant about the UK’s holiday prisons in which inmates guests apparently spend their time playing video games whilst discussing politics, but about China, where many internees have legitimate grievances against their captors. According to The Shanghai Daily, hotels in a mountainous holiday resort in the north-west of the country are also serving as detention centres for audacious locals who’ve attempted to travel to the capital, Beijing, with the aim of exposing corruption and airing grievances about regional authorities.

Following an internet protest from tourists who’d stayed at the hotels and objected to having been monitored by surveillance cameras in their rooms, an investigation by independent magazine Oriental Outlook concluded that the hotels were indeed being used for other, decidedly more nefarious, purposes. Intercepted before they could reach the capital, complainants have been searched and subsequently kept against their will in fully guarded guestrooms until such point as they renounce their disputes with officialdom – something which some “guests” are thankfully refusing to do.

Together with being home to these secret prisons, the town of Qiu Ju has also become a popular tourist destination since it served as a set for the movie after which it was named. The Story Of Qiu Ju quite bizarrely follows a pregnant peasant woman played by the adorable Gong Li (or possibly that should be Li Gong, but either way she was voted the most beautiful woman in China, 2006, and that’s all that really matters), as she makes her way to the big city in order to seek justice against local bureaucrats who failed to chastise the village elder for kicking her husband in the nuts. I know, I know, you couldn’t make the similarities up if you tried . . . .

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Well, strictly speaking that should be revert rather than convert, as everyone is, after all, born Muslim (apparently), but The Daily Mail recently asked “Why are so many modern British career women converting to Islam? ” so I’ve merely followed suit.

The newspaper, which is noted for its tolerance, respect and unbiased reporting of Islamic affairs had earlier published an article on Tony Blair’s sister-in-law Lauren Booth, who six weeks ago converted to Shia Islam following a spiritual experience in Iran and has, every day since, been reading the Qur’an within which she’s up to page 60 – yes that does equate to a staggering page and a half daily.

Islam’s status as the world’s fastest growing religion appears at odds with the general hostility towards it in the West, where aside from the belief that it fosters extremism is the perception of it as being distinctly misogynistic, which begs the question of why the majority of its new adherents are female.

The highly influential da’i and apologist Dr Zakir Naik, who’s currently banned from entering the UK thanks to his alleged extremist views (i.e. he compared Americans to terrorists), but whose literature and DVDs are legally and widely available for sale here, has said on the subject of women’s position in Islam that:

“The Western talk of women’s liberation, is actually a disguised form of exploitation of her body, deprivation of her honour and degradation of her soul . . . . The Western society which speaks of upgrading the status of women in Islam, has actually reduced her status to concubines, to mistresses, to society butterflies, which are mere tools in the hands of sex marketers and pleasure seekers, which are disguised behind the colourful screen of art and culture . . . . Women’s rights in Islam should be judged according to the authentic sources, and not what individual Muslims do, or what the Muslim society does . . . .”

“Islam’s radical revolutionary support gave women their due right and status in the days of ignorance 1,400 years ago . . . . Islam believes in equality of men and women. Equality does not mean identicality.”

Ermmm, I’m pretty sure it does – I am assuming, though, that being a neologism of sorts identicality means identical. And whilst Islam undeniably gave women rights when they had none, things have moved on a litle since then. Regardless, it would be easy to suggest that Dr Naik and other proselytisers have been remarkably successful in duping women into a vision of Islam which sees it as granting females an elevated rank in society – something that remains a debateable and subjective issue.

Such patronising thinking, though, assumes considerable ignorance and naivety on the part of the newly converted. Far from being submissive fools who’ve converted on a whim, the white, predominantly middle-class, successful career women to whom Islam often appeals usually fit the well-educated, thinker mould. Glossing over “celebrities” like Lauren Booth, whose sudden conversion is more likely the result of media whoring and taking up the latest fad than any serious religious enlightenment, the answer to why so many women embrace Islam is rooted in the dissatisfaction many hold towards current Western values.

The sexualisation of women, resulting – as far as many in the Ummah are concerned – from the feminist movement, which they view as a form of colonialism, has, together with irreverent attitudes and decadent, consumer driven and selfish lifestyles turned many Westerners towards alternative ways of living, amongst which is Islam. Spiritual beliefs to one side, the conservative moral values and strong sense of family and brotherhood/sisterhood present in Islam clearly appeal to many who are disillusioned with the status quo.

The question then of why so many modern British career women are converting to Islam is somewhat irrelevant. The important thing is that they choose to. No one forces them . . . .

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Sorry to disappoint keen Star Wars fans but if you’ve arrived here looking for snapshots of nude Jedi elders, then you may wish to check your spelling.

The president of America’s Universal Society of Hinduism, Rajan Zed, has issued a statement expressing his dismay at Playboy bosses for promoting a video of model and “actress” Sara Jean Underwood performing yoga moves in the nude – and yes, by nude, I do mean completely nude. According to the Hindustan Times, the self-proclaimed Hindu leader, who previously griped about the film The Love Guru (which was pretty dire, but I don’t think that was his issue with it) and will generally do anything to get in the news, said:

“Hindus are upset over what is the misuse of the age-old and revered system of yoga by Playboy for mercantile greed and we are urging the organisation to withdraw all its yoga-related products. Yoga is one of the six systems of orthodox Hindu philosophy and it is highly revered in Hinduism. It is actually a serious mental and physical discipline by means of which the human soul can unite with the universal soul.”

Bet he still watched the videos, though – I know I did. Far from being pornographic in nature, the poses and manoeuvres of Ms Underwood, who’s also known as Playmate of the month, July 2006, and Playmate of the year, 2007, are really rather dignified and tasteful. Although that’s unlikely to make any difference to feminists, moral crusaders, and Mr Zed, I’m pretty certain that the majority of men people will find the videos most stimulating . . . .

Decide for yourself: Playboy’s Naked Yoga Videos

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